Short Hiatus Scheduled

Dear Diary,
I just wanted to give you a heads-up that I will not be writing next week, since I will be taking some personal time from my normal routine. I had been planning on taking some time off soon, but a recent news story confirmed it. Yes, I'm talking about Bigfoot.
Numerous news sources have claimed that a "Bigfoot" body has been discovered, measuring over seven feet tall, having dark hair all over, and brown eyes. But CNET made an interesting point, stating:

Every geek and X-phile knows Bigfoot prefers the thick forests of the Pacific Northwest. What the heck was this one doing in Georgia? Searching for decent barbecue?

It's true, isn't it? But yes, I plan on returning after a week of hunting Bigfoot, so don't fret. I will come back. For the time being, though, a movie poster to keep you entertained:

Take care, Diary.
-Liz :)

Weather Forecasts for Your Pets!

Dear Diary,
I may have seen the cutest idea ever! I was checking the 10-day forecast on Weather.com today, and I saw this ad:

That's right, Diary. You can now get your personal PetCast! How cute! It asks you for your pet's information, such as weight, age, hair type, and even the pet's name to make a personalized forecast for your pet's comfort! I just can't get over how cute this is! To make it even better, they have links to pet videos and pictures that could make your heart go pitter-patter. I officially endorse this, because I don't have much confidence in how comfortable my pets are. They just lay around most of the day. I hope they're not uncomfortable!

I have one thing to point out about the site, though. I have this picture from the PetCast page, but maybe you will agree with what I see in this picture:

I don't know, maybe it's just me, but this picture is odd.

Too bad there's no forecast for your comfort levels, Diary.

-Liz :)

Batman, You Can't Beat My Number 1 Movie

Dear Diary,
An article from a trustworthy news source, Reuters, has claimed that the new Batman movie, that I commented on earlier in the month, has no hope of reaching the money grossed by my favorite movie, Titanic. Yes, Diary, it's true: Batman pales in comparison to Jack Dawson. Mmm mmm mmm. First of all, Titanic was better than Dark Knight because people enjoy love-story tragedies. Titanic was riveting, while Dark Knight is almost emo. Another reason Titanic was better than Dark Knight is that I have seen Titantic, whereas I have not seen Dark Knight, but it's not like it matters. I know the new Batman movie is bad, so I'll just stick with my classic, awe-inspiring love story with Leonardo DiCaprio. Hold on, Diary, let me catch my breath...

Okay, I'm better.
I'm not so much into Leo as I used to be. He's so 5th grade to me now, in all reality.
No, now it's all about this guy in China, one of the torch guards for the Olympics. I don't know who he is, but he's caught the attention of the Chinese women. Here's the story from Reuters, again. What do you think, Diary? Here's his picture:

It all might be a big pubicity stunt by the Chinese government, but all the same, you decide, Diary.
-Liz 8->

Why the iPhone Sucks

Dear Diary,
Since it launched about a month ago, the iPhone (3G) has incessantly made my life terribly uncomfortable. I'm not a big tech nerd; I just leave that stuff up to Mic. No, I have played with one before, and I still think that if I'm going to spend money on a device like that, I'm going to just purchase an iPod Touch. Here are some reasons why:

• I can already text on my current phone.
• No AT&T contract holding me down.
• The camera sucks.
• No picture messaging or video messaging for when I take pictures and video of my dogs.
• No AT&T contract holding me down.
• Battery can't be removed.
• No AT&T contract holding me down.
• Plastic instead of the original metal.

Now I assert that I don't own any new Apple products, but given the opportunity, I think I would buy a new touch iPod just because it's just so cute! You have to admit, Diary, that it'd be fun to taunt people with one. People on Facebook would be super jealous. But I'd have to be careful not to become one of those fanboys of all Apple products! I think its religion with those guys! "Hi, I'm a Mac." "And I'm a PC." Hi, I don't care! There's a guy who is some sort of disciple of Apple that's living near Mic this year, and I'm just not sure about him. He actually thinks Charlie the Unicorn is funny! He's like those callers at the hotline. What silly people!
To me, the iPhone is toast, as pictured here:

Anyways, Diary, I digress. I can't change the world, but I can change how I see it, or at least change the small bit of the world around me as I go, that sounds better.
-Liz :))

My Thoughts on the Jonas Brothers

Dear Diary,
I don't know if you've been under a rock for the past year, but the Jonas Brothers are currently in a plot to take over the world! of media. I first saw/heard of them on New Years' Eve, when they appeared on Dick Clark's special. I remember thinking, "Who are these kids, and why are they mooching off my idol?" I've never listened to them, but I have heard that they're no good, so I don't like them.
Apparently they have a new album coming out this week, so I though I'd read up on them on Wikipedia. Now, we know that that site is not most trustworthy all the time, so I checked the revision history and found this (Note: if link has moved, the revision was made by Gubgub1 at 12:59 on 20 May 2008). I guess some people don't like them.
So I searched for why people don't like the Jonas Brothers, and landed on Yahoo! Answers page linked here. Since there are many responses, I'll just feature the ones I found most useful.

• "i hate the jonas brothers, they are sooo effing gay, i mean seriously" by Emy <3
• "they are secret Muslims with plans of ensnaring Americans with their ripped off songs and evil merchandising schemes" by LC
• "Because i was born a male" by I cant think of a good name
• "Because you touch yourself at night, And they touch each other at night and have bad music" by Tom
• "theyre gay, they suck, and they have NO talent...Bam" by Natalee
• "And don't be like "ohh, they're gay" "they suck., well they do right" by elephant dude
• "because theyre disney douchebags...theyre only famous because they have little 12 year old hannah montana fans chasing after them" by april
• "First and foremost, they claim to be rock. Uh no, the only thing rock about them is the instruments. They don't even write they're own music. Second, they're spawn of Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus, who sucks just as equally (if not more). Third, they're super overrated, and they have no talent. And lastly, they look gay. Don't question it, I know gay people and they even say the Jonas Brothers look gay. Happy now, good." by Commando, with whom I couldn't agree more.

There were some Jonas Brothers fans who answered the question in the forum, so here are a few of their answers:

• "There is NOTHING not to like about them!! they are amazing, talented, hard working, sweet, down to earth guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! plus they r very good looking!!!!!!!! ...AND for all u haters out there-THEY ARE DEFINITELY NOT GAY!!...if u say they are gay, then u are just jealous!!!!!!!!so build a bridge and get over it!!" by cheerliegirl011
• "OMG WTF! i love them so so so much all those haterz can hate who cares i bet they like.... idk but i love the JB!" by Julia

Oh my goodness. There were far worse answers for both sides on this response, as well as many others. In support of a similar question, a member named Nick Jonas responded with, "Because we are the bestest girl group ever."

Well, there you have it. I won't say anything more on this subject, because, Diary, just like Fox News, I'm "fair and balanced".
For more thoughts on the Jonas Brothers, check out these posts:

• Comments Are Great
• Word Processors Are the Future!
• The Jonas Brothers Still Suck
  

-Liz :-)

Perchlorate Salt Found on Mars!!!

Dear Diary,
Oh my gosh! This so awesome! NASA released a statement yesterday confirming the presence of the highly oxidizing salt, perchlorate, in the topsoil on Mars. Now, I happen to know that perchlorate is bad, but some silly scientists say that it should not affect life on the red planet. But some scientists with common sense, and who actually know what perchlorate is, have stated that no one would be happy seeing it in abundance there. Who would? Sure some microbes feed on it, but for most life, you know, life that matters, doesn't really like it, because they know its bad, as according to some astrobiologists (who knew that was a profession?) from University of South Carolina.

But there could be a plus side to all of this. To get to the ice below the surface, at least that's where I think it is, we could introduce oxygen into the atmosphere, and set the red planet aflame, since perchlorate is found in fireworks and rocket fuel. You have to admit, Diary, it would be a pretty sight from Earth! Let's study what we want to study, and then throw it in the garbage! That's the real American way.

Let's show Mars the way we do it, Diary!
-Liz |:)

Batman = SCARY

Dear Diary,

Call me naive...but I think that the new Batman movie is just too scary. I know that I would not go see it with anyone younger than me, since they would find it funny to try and scare me during and after the movie. For some reason, the movie creeps me out, and to go to $400 million in 18 days at the box office really shows that America likes to be freaked out and scared silly. Here are a few reasons why I don't like the new Batman movie, Dark Knight:

1. The name in itself makes me nervous. Let's break it down: Dark is bad, and Knight refers to someone who fights for a living. Sure, knights protect you, but I don't have one living in my house, do I? Point made: they're flat out scary. So why not call the movie Bad Flat Out Scary. It has a nice ring to it, and I know not to go see it now.


2. Christian Bale. Sure, he's a hunk beyond my dreams, but he's a bad role model for young people. I mean, he bit his mother! Leave the violence on the screen, so I don't have to deal with it. If I don't see the movie, I don't have to witness the bad violence contained within it.


3. Heath Ledger. Not only do I disapprove of his previous movies, which I will not mention here, he just flat-out freaks me out. I dislike hate clowns. As the Joker, he is a psycho and needs some medical treatment at the mental hospital, with regular doses of love and attention. Poor Joker probably never had anyone tell him he was loved, so he has to act out for attention. It's a classic case of home-grown problems. Maybe his parents got a divorce and that's what made him that way.



4. It costs $9 to get in.


5. Lack of unicorns, especially pink and blue ones.


6. Dark.


7. Scary.


8. Why no ponies?


9. Morgan Freeman doesn't have a big enough role. He should be just as invincible as Mic says Chuck Norris is.


10. It's bad. End of story.

There you have it, and still people line up to see this movie. I don't understand how this can be entertaining, but I'm not one for wanting to be scared, at least, not after I saw the Mummy. That one scared the living daylights out of me!

Now, excuse me, Diary, I'm going to lock my door.

-Liz :-S

Statistics in Good Practice

Dear Diary,

Okay, so I was walking through my local buy-all-in-one-stop store the other day, when I noticed these diet pills. No, Diary, I was not looking to buy them, but as a math genius, the figure of "546% more" caught my eye. How you convey data to the general public can either make or break your product line.

Now, whoever did this ad for Zantrex sure knew how to make this product sell tremendously: percentages. (I tutor in statistics sometimes, so bear with me.) I know that I don't need diet pills (really, I don't), but seeing this statistic makes me want to get them to give to my friends, just because that's such a large percentage. Another ad for the same pill says "5 times the amount", but that doesn't sound like much. 546% sounds like 500 times the amount to me, and that's a deal! I offer huge applause to whoever designed these ads. Bravo! Kudos for doing such a good job.

Diary, you're starting to get a little festively plump. Maybe you need some of these pills. You get 500 times the amount of leading competitors! Finding them is going to be the hard part. "You won't find these in any supermarket next to...[any] 'Flintrock' vitamin for kiddies." That means that you won't find any of these diet pills next to any goat vitamins. Keep that in mind.

-Liz 8^O