Fat Cat Alert!

Dear Diary,
Oh my gosh, Diary, that's one fat cat! Weighing in at a mild 44 pounds, this cat is already more famous than you could ever hope to be. "Princess Chunk" was what an animal shelter in New Jersey dubbed this cat, even though its real name was "Powder". Come on, this cat was so fat, they couldn't even tell if it was a male or female! It took a vet to determine its gender! And to top it off, this cat was on Fox News and the "Regis and Kelly" morning show. (Anyone who knows me knows that it is my dream to appear on that show, and darn it, I will.) Two pounds short of the world record, this cat is a superstar.

Reportedly, a senior citizen had to send the cat to live with her friends after her home was foreclosed, when the cat escaped. After leading police and animal control on a high-speed chase down the alleyways of Camden County, New Jersey, officials apprehended the kitty after wrangling it down. (You know I'm just being silly, Diary, with that last bit.) This cat has already experienced more than I might ever be able to talk about, and for that reason, it's dead to me. Cute cat, don't get me wrong, but the "Regis and Kelly" thing ruins the whole story.

Don't steal my dreams, Diary, and we'll stay good friends.

-Liz ~ X (

Oh No, Not Charlie the Unicorn 2!!

Dear Diary,

I think I just did what Mic calls a "face-palm". Here's a picture illustrating my point:

In other words, I just found out that there is a Charlie the Unicorn 2. Oh my. Just so you won't have to find out on your own, Diary, I've included the video in this entry. Please don't hate me for it, but it's better that you find out through me as opposed to the world introducing it to you. You'll understand later on, I'll bet.

Just to warn you though, there is a song that will probably want to make you say a naughty word, so resist the urge, just like I did. In fact, here's a link to the song's download page at http://www.filmcow.com/.

I trust you won't say anything dirty after watching this video, Diary, or I just won't talk to you anymore.

-Liz :-)

This Guy Is So True

Dear Diary,
I saw this and I had to share it with you. I feel so much the same way with plants, especially that greenhouse at IU on 3rd St. (*Shiver*)
-Liz (=^|

Puzzle Pirates - Eegats!

Dear Diary,

I was surfing the internet the other day, when I found perhaps the dumbest game I've ever laid eyes on: Puzzle Pirates.

Oh, Diary, where do I begin? I've never thought that playing games was a good way to pass the time, but this takes it to a whole new dimension. I don't see why people want to play this game, seriously. It claims to be the biggest and most fun MMORPG on the internet. First, I had to look up what MMORPG. It was like trying to look up what "ROFL" means! After looking up the acronymn, I decided the game wasn't for me, since I don't like spending much, if any, time on the internet. Plus, you don't know who is playing alongside you at all, Diary. I could be playing with people from Europe, and that just makes me uncomfortable for some reason. I don't want to have strange people from foreign countries in my own room! It's just the thought of it! I mean, when I'm awake, shouldn't they be in bed? Don't they have lives? I guess not.

As it turns out, Puzzle Pirates is made and run by Three Rings, the same gaming company that Mic works for. I really don't know if I can look at him the same after finding out that he plays a game with people all over the world. Eegatts, I doubt if I'll ever be able to use his computer again, let alone open an email from him, because everybody knows that all computer viruses come from outside the country. I mean, it's only common sense. Those people who do that are just big meanies. I just hope that they don't find a way to hurt Mic's computer, because I just put a nice wallpaper on it the other day, as I've pasted below.

Oh, Diary, what would I do if this picture was erased from Mic's computer?  Well, I'd just have to do it again on a new one. Strange, though, he doesn't talk about it at all. I'll have to ask him about it, that is, if I won't get a virus just from asking about it. Oh, Mic, why do you have to play that dumb game? Just because it's your job doesn't mean you have to play it. Just be careful!

Diary, I don't think you can get a virus just by him reading you, so I think you're safe.

-Liz 8-|

Skydog

Dear Diary,

Boy, what a weekend! I may have seen everything, now. So I was at a baseball game, trying to lie low for the day, and I was surprised just how much I really enjoyed myself. I had never been to a baseball game in my life, besides the kids and church league games. I really didn't know what to think at first. I was expecting more violence, like at a football game or a European soccer match. That guy who head-butted that other guy last year was scary. So I went to the game prepared for the worst, making sure I had a bullet-proof vest on before arriving. The game went pretty well: the players hit a lot of runs and the competition was good. But by the seventh down (or inning?), this one guy had a fumble and interception in one play. I almost got out of my seat when this drunk loser behind me started yelling at the quarterback and shortstop. I just hoped that he wouldn't try and get down into our endzone and beat both of them up!

After that incident, things cooled down, and then I saw the coolest thing ever: a plane carrying a banner behind it! It was kind of cool, but it was advertising SkyDog Wines. Yuck! Wine sure smells nasty. I've never tasted it, but I've heard it just plain sucks. But it did have a cute logo: a dog with a rocket pack on its back. Just the cartoon in itself made me want to buy, since I'm a kid a heart. WHOOSH! Just by drinking the wine, maybe I'll be able to fly too, or is that Red Bull? I can't remember, but it would be super cool to fly in that plane with the banner and imagine that I'm in a parade.

Diary, don't get trashed now, that you know about this new wine marketed to children.

-Liz 8^O

UUGGHH!!

Dear Diary,

You're not going to believe this, but I just found another Charlie poster in my stuff! Oh, it brings all the emotions back for a second round. It just makes me glad that I got revenge on JP and his buddies. It was fun to get back at them, after all. But, Diary, finding another Charlie the Unicorn poster makes me hope that JP and his buddies are finding some of their cat posters in their stuff right now as I'm writing this. Their posters weren't original or anything. Here's the picture I just found in my Chemistry notebook:

Come on, Diary, this picture doesn't even bring a smile to my face. It's so STUPID! I've heard people say they hate to watch it but love to quote it. They're such hypocrites! Mic has joined JP and his buddies in quoting it sometimes, but all I have to do is ignore them, and I am perfectly happy. I love living in my own world sometimes, away from the internet culture that has enveloped my school and associates.

It's a good thing they couldn't find a way of putting a Charlie picture in you, Diary. Well, I guess I just did. Oh well, c'est la vie. You know how I love French, Diary.

-Liz ;-P

What (Not) to Wear

Dear Diary,

Oh my goodness! I just watched a wonderful episode of my favorite TV show: What Not to Wear on TLC. To tell you the truth, I have invested so much time into this show that I practically could do my own show for my friends. Wouldn't that be cool? I know that I made mention that this was my favorite TV yesterday when I was critique-ing that Man vs. Wild show, but I had to include an entry solely devoted to What Not to Wear.
I'll give 3 reasons on why this show is the best:

1. Two words: Clinton Kelly. Oh my goodness, he is such a hunk, and he even knows about fashion (even better, women's fashion!!). Stacy London is okay, but she gets on my nerves, especially when she starts throwing away poodle sweaters. I like wearing those.
2. It helps me feel better about myself. Seeing how some of those people dress makes me glad that I have a better eye for fashion than they do. I pick out my own clothing, as well as Mic's clothing, and I think that we look astonishing! Why look like a bum when you can look like you're going in for your first interview everday to work? I just like to look pretty, and every once in a great while there will be a fashion tip presented that I didn't know, adding it to my array of wonderful fashion knowledge.
3. It's on all the time. If I miss a showing, I can always go back and watch it within a day or two. TLC's programming is pretty limited, especially with those cute midgets on that one show, and they tend to rerun a lot of the What Not to Wear episodes. I'm currently trying to memorize the old shows when I can. It sure is fun, and useful!

Now that you now know why I love this show, Diary, I want to share a video with you that I found on YouTube. It's super silly, but surprisingly fits into the What Not to Wear genre fairly well.
Don't worry, Diary, you look fantastic--all the time!
-Liz =)

Bear Grylls = EWWW!!!

Dear Diary,

You know that I'm not into the outdoors much, but apparently Mic was not informed. He said that there was this show on Discovery Channel that was incredible: Man vs. Wild, with host Bear Grylls. Why did my first episode have to be the episode entitled "Bear Eats". Yes, Diary, this was a half-hour of some crazed British gentleman survival-enthusiast eating the most disgusting things. I've included pictures for you to see, Diary.

The first thing that got me was Bear eating raw fish. I mean, he didn't even cook it! I know some people in the Far East eat raw fish all the time, but I never would!

Something else he ate was a dead zebra that had been hunted by lions or something...RAW. I don't even want to think about it again. I might throw up, so Diary, you may want to look away.

Also, he was in the desert and obviously got thirsty. I mean, why did he not take water with him? If I were going to be traveling anywhere in Africa, I would most definitely take water. What a silly man! So because he "forgot" his water, he had to get a drink from a dead camel's stomach! ECH! "That's horribly disgusting," is what I think he said after that. No duh! On another trip, he squeezed water from elephant..."dung". (Slight shiver) What would drive a man to do that? Surely there are convenience stores over there where he could buy a bottled water. He didn't have any money? Oh, Diary, I'll loan him some, then. Truthfully, I don't see how his family can stand to kiss him, knowing what's been in his mouth.

Finally, Diary, if that didn't make you sick, this will. Apparently Bear doesn't travel with a heater when he knows he's going to be in really cold places, like Alaska or New York City (Which he hasn't been there in a show, I don't think. I'm being silly!). So instead of turning on his SUV for heat or something, he...pees in a bottle. WWHHYY?? Yeah, that stuff is warm and all, but I would never do it! That's gross and dirty! He didn't even use hand sanitizer afterwards! He could get all sorts of germs by not washing his hands after using the restroom, especially in his water bottle. That's another thing, if he's going to be in snow, why bring a water bottle? He could have brought a heater and been better off.

So, Diary, needless to say, I don't think I'll watch Man vs. Wild again. It was just too gross for me. I'll stick with What Not to Wear on TLC. I just love that Clinton character. But I regress, Mic has a need to be manly and macho, just as I have a need to be womanly and...well, myself.

Oh, Mic wanted me to paste this in, since he knew I'd be writing about Bear. I don't get it, but if it makes him laugh, it can't be that bad.

We'll have a TLC girls night here soon, Diary. You're invited.

-Liz :-}

New Shampoo Trial

Dear Diary,

Today I tried out a new shampoo that I've seen advertised on the TV: Garnier Fructis. The ads show lots of fun-loving young people enjoying their hair to the limit. Usually the ads have something to do with moisture, so they take place at the pool or in the shower, typically in a tropical setting. So I went to the website and took the quiz for which product was right for my unique style of hair, and purchased the sleek and shine formulation.

Diary, nothing could prepare me for what came next. So I was in the shower (big surprise) washing my hair, when all of the sudden, there's another smiling woman in the shower with me! I asked her, "What are you doing here?" To which she replied, "I frickin' wash my hair here." I said, "You would wash your hair here," realizing we were in a shower. She said, "I come with the shampoo bottles. Haven't you seen the commericals?"

I then realized that the people showering together in the TV ads were not just product placement; they were full-blown real! I'm not comfortable showering with another woman, so I'm just going to stick with Pantene Pro-V, since their ads are more conservative, just like my politics. That is, unless I can find out if the other formulations of this shampoo include a guy. Wink wink, Diary, wink wink. But that idea is just bad, though, because Mic might surprise-visit me, and I don't want some shampoo guy hiding in the closet. The woman with the bottle I just bought I just had to hire as a maid! But she doesn't require much, so I let here stay around.

Diary, I need to find you a new conditioner. Your hair looks dirty.

-Liz ; )

With Apologies to Miley Cyrus

Dear Diary,
Alright, I was probably a little harsh yesterday when I wrote about Miley. Sorry. It wasn't my place to write about her in that fashion. I know you are a fan of Hannah Montana, Diary, so I'll be more considerate next time. I don't know why I say things like that. Really, there's nothing wrong with Hannah Montana, at least in my book. No, if she wants to put on a Sex and the City-esque show on TV, it would at least keep kids from watching the real show on HBO and TBS. That show is just bad anyways, on a lot of levels.
Another reason I welcome a new Miley Cyrus is that this new show she wants to do would take the spotlight off of Hannah Montana so the whole fad and commercial line will die. At least Target doesn't bow down to Hannah Montana's image like Wal-Mart does. Ee-gatts!
Diary, I hope this apology makes things better between us, and also, could I have my car keys back again?
-Liz :-\

General Update

Dear Diary,

Sorry I haven't written to you lately, but things have been kind of crazy since I last wrote. I have been following the story of that Miley Cyrus tramp. She claims she is so pure, what with wearing her purity ring and such. Seriously, she said that her favorite TV show was Sex and the City, even though she clarified that she only watches the edited versions on TBS. She even wants to do a clean reproduction of Sex and the City. Yeah, sex and purity: they go together for teenage girls. She wants to be a role model, but she poses as Hannah Montana. I just can't see it working out. How can she be a good role model when her dad is Billy Ray? Mind you, Diary, I love his one-hit wonder, but he had a mullet, and that's just bad.

If we want a role model for teenage girls, what's wrong with me? Okay, well, Oprah's not a bad choice. She could focus her hypnosis that she's been using on mothers across the country, onto the girls of America, and make them not do, well, you know--bad things. Yet another reason I would be a good role model. More to come.

Follow my example, Diary; I'm not bad.

-Liz >:-|

Forbes, I don't need to listen to you

Dear Diary,
Today I was browsing a news site, when out of the blue, I find an article from Forbes, linked here, outlining the reasons I don't need a new iPhone this Friday. It's so cute! It looks like it would be a good phone, plus I've heard they're good. To do stuff, you just touch it! I can't get over it! If only we could have these phones at the hotline, I would use it to surf the internet while I am on a call. Oh wait, I already do that. I'm silly.
I would buy an old phone, but I can't do that. If I'm going to buy something, I might as well get the latest version, even if it is more expensive. But I don't really care that much about it.
Diary, maybe I can get a Helllo Kitty phone, since that would make Sari super jealous! Toodles!
-Liz ;-)

Barack Obama = Hunksicle

Dear Diary,
I know that everyone is still up in arms about the "Obama Girl" tramp who was popular about forever ago. As much as I hate to admit it, I have a crush on Obama too. (EEGAD!) He just looks like a good president, and that's all that matters in my book. He believes that the USA is the greatest country in the world, so let's change it. I don't see what everyone dislikes about him; I mean, he's fit, looks good, is fired up about change, and he looks good. Move over Michelle, because my horoscope said that the stars are in my favor, and Obama is my star.
Obviously everything that Obama says he can do once in office will be executed. There are absolutely no forseeable consequences in what he's saying we need to do.
No, Diary, I'm not being facetious at all. LOL.
-Liz <3

My Second Waltz Complete!

Dear Diary,

Well, I just finished my second waltz. Have fun with it. This piece requires a lot of percussion.

By the way Diary, you may want to purchase some ear plugs.

-Liz :(

Alternate History?

Dear Diary,

This should be the last entry for a while that I let Mic have a say in. Personally, I don't know where he got this one, but it is silly. Sometimes he really makes me laugh, but I don't know of very many people who are in to Star Wars like him. He says that if this were the reality during WWII, it would have awesome. I just say, "WWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY!?"

From Mic: One does not simply "tank cat" into Mordor. Whatever that means, Diary.

-Liz 9: )

Engineering Is Hazardous to Your Health

Dear Diary,

Mic sent me this picture of popular summertime activities for college kids. He's silly. Really though, we're both engineers: me with chemicals and him with computers.

I don't know about him, but I spend a lot of time feeding bologna to the dogs on the street. They're so cute! Some people feed bread to the birds in the park. I just give meat to wild packs of dogs, partially so they might protect me, or maul me, I don't know which at the moment.

At least my skin tone is even, Diary. No farmer's tan for me!

-Liz ;-)

New Music

Dear Diary,

Well, I'm officially done writing a new piece of music for my flute. Maybe Mic can play parts on the piano. A lot of people said that I was silly for writing it, but I scanned a copy of the music just to show them that I did it. Now I hope that I can play it.

Diary, that's all I have for now. Keep 911 on the speed dial in case my waltz turns out bad.

-Liz :-O

Another Mic Post

Oh Diary, I just found a funny picture that references back to one of my LOL-cat pictures I made for revenge a while back. Even though it's ironic in humor, it does make me uneasy. Sure, I like cats, because they're funny, but one that's on fire? JP will like this. It has a cat on it.

You'll be good at all sorts of sports: running, weddings, arson, art..., Diary.

-Liz o>-<

Lost

Admit it, Diary, you just did.

Mic told me to put this in here. I don't know why, nor do I want to, I think. I hope this isn't bad. Ever since we've been pulling this long-distance relationship, I'm afraid that he might be turning bad on me. Sure, he was silly before, but now I'm concerned. Oh, it's probably just a phase; he'll grow out of it soon enough.

-Liz :-)

My First Photoshop Attempt

Dear Diary,
I have pasted in my first attempt at using the "magic" software to edit photos. It's super silly, but I can't tell that it's fake. It's not bad.
Fine, if you're going to critique my work, just check out this guy's attempts. His are far worse than mine. Oh, I'm just kidding. But seriously, if you really want to see some awful photos, I found this place, but I know the guy, so I can poke fun at him.
XOXOXO, Diary,
-Liz :^)

Current Mood: ARGH

This is me at the hotline, but of course, I'm not a boy, silly. Seriously, this is the magazine I have on file for those tough calls in the call center.
I crack myself up sometimes, Diary,
-Liz :))

Basketball picture update

Dear Diary,
I just found that basketball picture from earlier! Boy do I feel silly about thinking it was made with magic!

Oh well, I found the picture, and that's all that matters to me. Even though I don't want Mic and I to be around the person who made that picture. They're bad. I hope it's not someone I know personally.

Don't worry, Diary, you're not bad.

-Liz >: )

UPDATE: Those pictures are NOT magic

Dear Diary,
I'm super sorry about leading you on that those pictures from the previous two posts were made with magic. I looked up some stuff, and it turns out that there is a program for the computer that will do it for you, called Photoshop. I purchased the entire suite and got a really good deal on it for only $1500! I'm glad I still have that job with the hotline, so now I can make silly pictures of my friends! But should I? That would be bad. It might make me one of those "internet ninjas", because they're bad.
To help me decide what I need to do, I bought a book about Photoshop, Photoshop CS3 for Dummies. Boy, what a silly title. Maybe it'll help me find that basketball picture original. More on that later.
Come to Candy Mountain, Diary,
-Liz :P

More pictures I know

Dear Diary,
You won't believe it, but I found more pictures of people I know! A "special friend" and another silly guy appear in this picture.
Now, I know that I have seen this picture somewhere else, without my friends' faces on it, but where? I mean, what kind of silly person would do something like this: putting people's faces on funny and silly pictures? I'd like to know how to do it, but between the hotline and finding new exciting internet acronymns, I don't have the time. I'll update when I find out.
Play a mean game, Diary,
-Liz

Princess Bride

Dear Diary,
Alright, so I was talking to my "special friend" the other day and apparently two people I know really well were cast in the Princess Bride movie. I don't remember them being on set, and I may have seen this movie without those two in it. Thinking on it, they had to be in the movie, otherwise, how could the faces be in this picture?

I definitely know those faces. I'll bet some magic was involved somehow. I may be naive, but I don't know how else this could have been done.

Bye-bye now. Have fun storming the castle, Diary,
-Liz :)

I'm feeling silly today!

Deal Dialy,
Today, I'm feering extla sirry! I'm repracing arr my "r's" with "l's" and vice velsa. (Tee hee!) Mic said it wourd be funny, so I though why not? It courd be fun. We'rr find out by the end of the day!
-Liz

The HH...UGH!

Dear Diary,
Surely you know by now that I am a supervisor for the hotline. Well, I'm about to let you in on a huge secret...I secretly despise those callers! Sure, I could quit, but I'm only working as supervisor for the money. Those silly little kids who call in to prank me--why I could just scream! How could my refrigerator be running, when the only one we have in the call center is a mini-fridge, and I know it doesn't have legs!? Also, my hotline is not some...dirty call hotline, either. I am supposed to help people with their problems, not encourage them! All these people are so silly!
There is one perk, though. If I really don't like one of our call receptionists, I can set up the call queue so that person never gets a break! Oh, I'm silly, but I have to have fun, especially as supervisor. Sometimes, though, I wish I was a basic call receptionist again, largely so I can tell people to shut up and tell them just how stupid they are. Oh, the good ol' days! They were silly.
Bye-bye, Diary,
-Liz ;)

WHY!?

Dear Diary,
I just don't understand it! Someone just sent me this sign, and I just don't understand it! I mean, what is an "internet ninja", let alone a "cyborg ninja"?

I could understand "internet pirates", but how could you be an "internet ninja"? Could someone help me understand? Yes, I did figure out what "LOL" stood for (in a previous entry), but "ROFL", I'm not sure about. Oh, I hope that Mic knew what it meant before he put it on that poster I made of the LOL-cats. The thought of there being internet ninjas out there frightens me. I know it's all probably some silly joke, but I don't want someone sneaking up on me, especially on the internet! Someone I know said something about flying his "ROFLcopter" as an internet ninja one time. I don't understand it all! It seems silly to me.

Until later, Diary,

-Liz <3

I Got Revenge

Dear Diary,

Today I finally got back at those guys who put all sorts of that silly "Charlie the Unicorn" pictures in my room. I know a couple of people behind it all, but I suspect there might be more involved. I'm probably going to be finding those pictures for years! They put them in my books, notes, tests, files, and even my bed! I've already got a plan to get back at at least one person involved. He really likes cats, and he's into lol-cats (I think that's how it's spelled!). I'm going to make some of my own lolcats with my own captions. I like cats, yes, but he really likes cats with captions on them. I just made one picture, and I think he'll really like this one, because it has a cat on it! Do cats always land on their feet? Let's find out! I think I'll have Mic help me out with some of them. I'll leave some room here to paste in some of the pictures, if I can.

That's all for today, Diary,

-Liz

UPDATE: Here are the pictures Mic and I made up, the ones I told you about. Aren't they just wonderful and silly?