My Boys...

Dear Diary,
Yesterday, my day was going really well. The sun shone through the window when it was time to get up and there were birds singing just outside. When I got to classes, I got good remarks and all the material was interesting. Hey, even my Tuesday lab got out in 15 minutes! I even got the chance to study at Panera Bread. It was a great day! That is, until Mic had to bring up the email that will go unmentioned. A little background: I had sent one of my boys some coloring book pages of Disney princesses, just to let him know that he is special, when he sent Mic and I an email with a picture that Mic will not let me look at. He says that I won't like it, and that I might never be able to watch Beauty and the Beast ever again after seeing this picture. He won't tell me what it is, but my boys tell me that it's not bad. They even say it's funny - really funny. It just makes me mad though, when Mic brings it up! Why bring it up if you don't want to talk about it!? Hmm? That's what I thought!
Diary, you haven't seen the picture, have you?
-Liz >:-|

The Answer is...

Dear Diary,
You can really tell that the hotline is getting to me when I start dreaming about it. No, seriously, the other night my dreams were shaken by nightmares of obstinate callers on the hotline. I know that the answer was 1.9, and the frigtard caller would not, could not comprehend that. Sometimes I hate being supervisor, especially those hour-and-a-half calls about boxes sliding down inclined planes with friction. (*shudder*) I think that work might  be taking its toll on me. I can't get away from it even when I sleep!
Diary, why don't you call me at the hotline, so I can have just easy calls?
-Liz >:)

Michael Phelps Diet

Dear Diary,
I'm thinking of putting Mic on a new diet, the Michael Phelps Diet. Basically, he gets to eat whatever he wants, as long as it totals to 12,000 calories a day. I think that number can be achieved easily, as long as I don't cook too healthy for him. I've included the video below.
I suggest you go on the diet too, Diary.
-Liz :)

PETA, Line 1

Dear Diary,
Okay, so I was forced to watch Man vs. Wild again this week. Since this episode was about South Dakota, I didn't think that this would be that bad of an episode, but couldn't have been more wrong. I started watching the episode at about the time Bear used cat entrails for insulation from the cold of the Dakota nights. How gross can you get, Bear? Seriously, what did cats ever do to you? Personally, I adore cats, and when something/someone close to my heart gets hurt, I go ballistic. PETA will be giving you a call, Mr. Grylls. You have my word on that.
And while I have them on the phone, I'll just inform PETA about that rattlesnake you murdered! Meat is murder! What was the worst that snake was going to do to you? You didn't even notice that snake; your camera man had to point it out to you, Mr. British Special Forces.
Diary, you don't mistreat animals, do you?
-Liz :(
UPDATE: Okay, so apparently I misheard the show the other night, because Bear didn't use cat entrails, but cattails for insulation against the cold of the Dakota nights. Sorry Bear, but you might be getting a visit from PETA soon; I already made the call. Apparently I am not the only one who thinks low of Bear Grylls and all the poor animals he eats. *sigh*

The AXE Effect

Dear Diary,
So the other day I had forgotten to put any perfume on, and by the time I remembered, I had already climbed a flight of stairs up to Mic's room. What a bummer! I wasn't going to go back down after that, so I had just decided that I would just go without for the day. Mic likes me well enough that I don't need perfume to sweep him off his feet. Anyways, the plan changed when I found his can of AXE on his dresser. While he was brushing his teeth, I sprayed a little on just to see if I liked it. Needless to say, Mic needs to buy a new can of AXE.

So I went to my first class, full of boys, including my boys, and things went pretty normal. But then in my second class of the day, with mostly other women, all the girls stared at me the whole hour. I thought I had something on my shirt or something, until one of the girls gave me her cell number. Whoa. Maybe they had just decided to pick on me that class, but I don't think so, because the same behavior followed me all over campus!
Needless to say, I'm staying in my boys' room until this stuff wears off. I don't want to chance anything. I'd rather not have a repeat experience with the Garnier Fructis Shampoo.
It wasn't until after I had spent a few hours in the boys' room that I found an informational video about AXE srpay: pasted below.

Read the last line of the video, and all is explained. I'm not going to try that again!
Don't get any ideas, Diary.
-Liz 8-/

Stop Singing That Stupid Song!

Dear Diary,
I am so over my boys and their silly unicorn fetish! It used to bother me, but now I'm just going to ignore their cries for attention. I don't know why they insist on calling me "Mom", but in secret, Diary, I kind of like it. It makes me feel needed, because taking care of the Mic just doesn't always complete it for me. Mic says I need help, but what he know? I mean, just today when he started singing that Weird "Al" Yankovic song, The Saga Begins. I think that it was just fine the way it was in the original song, American Pie. Whenever he starts singing it, I have to start screaming uncontrollably in hopes that he will stop. It usually works. Just another thing that I'm working on changing in our relationship, specifically with Mic. He's a good pet, but he just needs to be conditioned a little bit more.
You're just the way I like you, Diary.
-Liz :D

I'm Back!

Dear Diary,
I didn't catch bigfoot, just so you know.
Well, I'm all moved in, but only with the help of the guys upstairs. They're so helpful. Into the room they walked and wanted to help me move in! How sweet! At least I know I'm loved!
It feels weird being back on campus, though. I have to start working the hotline again on Sunday. Bleh! If I have to listen to one more of those snot-nosed brats complain about not getting the valence shell electron pair repulsion theory, I'll just throw off my headset and walk out, maybe. That'd be super silly, though, on my part.
So I'm really disappointed with Obama now. Come on, Biden as his VP? What about changing the change we hold so dear? I only liked Obama since he looked like a good president, but now with this old geezer for a running mate, I've withdrawn support. They don't look like a good presidential couple, which is why I've put my support in for McCain, especially since he brought a woman in for his VP. She's young, fresh, and full of fight! She reminds me of the Italian lady who owned a restaurant down the street from my home. Zonkers! What a witch! Anyways, another story for another time.
Make sure to wash, not just rinse, Diary!
-Liz ;)