Near Death Experience

Dear Diary,

As I was rushing to get home before Mic did, so I could make him some yummy powdered doughnut pancake surprise, my airplane (the Sizzlin' Liz) became unresponsive. Apparently you aren't supposed to try to make pizza with a airplane; the cheese clogged my pitot tubes on the wings! To make a long story short, I've been in a coma for the past three months.

I wasn't flying when the Liz got angry, but just standing in the driveway with my hand testing just to see how hot it actually was before putting a pizza on it, and all of the sudden it flat out told me that Rachel Ray is perhaps the most annoying chef in the world. That got my blood boiling! We got to arguing and before I knew it the Liz had fired a homing laser at me, knocking me into a coma.

Now I understand the Sizzlin' Liz was an experimental aircraft stolen from the military, by Mic of all people! The judge said that he might get out in twenty years if he promises to use the SRC instead of the Iron Gym. I hope he complies. All this trouble for an airplane/pizza stone! See if I ever accept anything government again. You heard me Obama!

Anyway, the Liz was taken back into its government hiding, but before it was out of earshot it started dogging the Little Mermaid. It took fourteen intelligence agents to take me down. Prolonged exposure to that airplane made me irritable, but maybe some Tuscan Whole Milk will calm me down.

Don't you start talking bad about my Food Network or Disney films. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

-Liz :-|