Dear Diary,
I have a confession to make: I love that new song from the Lonely Island, but I can't say the title out loud. Mic introduced it to me the other day, and I liked it so much that I immediately left the room so I could purchase the song from an unnamed music store. Everyone thought that I was mad, but truthfully I can't stop singing it!
No, I'm not talking about that stupid "I'm on a Boat" song. I'm talking about the "Pants" song. Those silly guys getting nervous around girls and it just happens.
Wait...I think I just figured out what they mean when they're singing. EEGAD!! And there I made fun of Mic for accidentally wearing a woman's suit the other day. I'm not going to live this down. Well, I still like the song. It's catchy, but maybe Mic won't find out.
Mic won't find out, will he, Diary?
-Liz ;)
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Phobia Phriday #2
Dear Diary,
I'm starting something new today. I kind of touched on it last Thursday with the squirrels, but I am going to try out a new series of Friday posts entitled "Phobia Phriday". Isn't it witty? I thought of it on my own. Hehe! In this series, I will undergo a self-examination of myself and elaborate on my personal fears.
Today, I want to talk to you about genophobia: the fear of chins. I rediscovered this fear the other day when Mic took a huge chunk out of his beard while shaving. (Safety tip: don't shave while you're still asleep, even if it is an electric razor.) After Mic had cleaned up, he came to show me, and I had to cover my eyes so I wouldn't be as tempted to scream. The only way that it worked between Mic and I was that he had a beard that hid his chin. He's okay with me having a beard. I can't look at myself in the mirror without it. I just hope that Mic's beard comes back in soon. I can't even talk to him right now, because I can't get the image of his bare chin out of my head.
So Diary, don't you dare take a chunk out of my beard while I'm sleeping.
-Liz 8^O
UPDATE: Apparently I identified the wrong fear today. Geniophobia is the fear of chins, which I suffer from, but I had written genophobia, which is the fear of sex. Hehe, no worries there, Diary. (Get it? No worries...phobias? Never mind.)
I'm starting something new today. I kind of touched on it last Thursday with the squirrels, but I am going to try out a new series of Friday posts entitled "Phobia Phriday". Isn't it witty? I thought of it on my own. Hehe! In this series, I will undergo a self-examination of myself and elaborate on my personal fears.
Today, I want to talk to you about genophobia: the fear of chins. I rediscovered this fear the other day when Mic took a huge chunk out of his beard while shaving. (Safety tip: don't shave while you're still asleep, even if it is an electric razor.) After Mic had cleaned up, he came to show me, and I had to cover my eyes so I wouldn't be as tempted to scream. The only way that it worked between Mic and I was that he had a beard that hid his chin. He's okay with me having a beard. I can't look at myself in the mirror without it. I just hope that Mic's beard comes back in soon. I can't even talk to him right now, because I can't get the image of his bare chin out of my head.
So Diary, don't you dare take a chunk out of my beard while I'm sleeping.
-Liz 8^O
UPDATE: Apparently I identified the wrong fear today. Geniophobia is the fear of chins, which I suffer from, but I had written genophobia, which is the fear of sex. Hehe, no worries there, Diary. (Get it? No worries...phobias? Never mind.)
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Cat Remote
Dear Diary,
Today I tried out a new product: a cat remote. Yes, I know what you're thinking, but it doesn't cost that much. Now, this remote performs all the basic functions of a cat, but the most useful fuction has to be the "Get off (fill in the blank)" feature. I had to try something. Mic's cat is getting on my nerves! The other day it sharpened its claws on my Michael Phelps calendar! Hehehe, little did it know that I had powerful technology from the future.
At first, the remote failed to work, but eventually after mashing buttons for a half hour or so, that cat got annoyed and just got up and left. So I guess that it did work, just as planned. But after the cat ran away, it made me think. Why am I using technology to control life? This is exactly what happened in that Terminator movie, to the "T".
Well, I suppose I'll just have to become Amish, then Diary.
-Liz :{
Today I tried out a new product: a cat remote. Yes, I know what you're thinking, but it doesn't cost that much. Now, this remote performs all the basic functions of a cat, but the most useful fuction has to be the "Get off (fill in the blank)" feature. I had to try something. Mic's cat is getting on my nerves! The other day it sharpened its claws on my Michael Phelps calendar! Hehehe, little did it know that I had powerful technology from the future.
At first, the remote failed to work, but eventually after mashing buttons for a half hour or so, that cat got annoyed and just got up and left. So I guess that it did work, just as planned. But after the cat ran away, it made me think. Why am I using technology to control life? This is exactly what happened in that Terminator movie, to the "T".
Well, I suppose I'll just have to become Amish, then Diary.
-Liz :{
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Rough Day?
Dear Diary,
Ugh! This week has been brutal to me. I know it's only Tuesday, but it feels like it's been longer than that, like a couple of days. Just because I'm having a rough week doesn't mean that I should bring you down too, but it's like they say, "Missouri loves company," or something like that. So I thought that I would cheer you up, by presenting this photo to you:
Aren't they just cute?! Anyway, that's all I have to upset you with today, Diary. I mean, that's all I have to improve your day...today. It sounded better before I wrote it.
-Liz :)
Ugh! This week has been brutal to me. I know it's only Tuesday, but it feels like it's been longer than that, like a couple of days. Just because I'm having a rough week doesn't mean that I should bring you down too, but it's like they say, "Missouri loves company," or something like that. So I thought that I would cheer you up, by presenting this photo to you:
-Liz :)
Thursday, February 12, 2009
They Scurry Among Us
Dear Diary,
I'd like to talk to you about something serious: sciruophobia, the fear of squirrels. I am not afraid of squirrels; I'm just scared of what they're capable of doing. Sure, it seems like they are just digging for buried nuts in the ground, but that's just a diversion. They know that most humans cannot stand against a "cute" squirrel, but I see through their clever plans. I know that they are planning on eliminating the humans, with the aid of our robots, because they want the humans gone as well. Luckily I was able to get some snapshots of the squirrels when they don't have their guards up, such as the following:
You might laugh now, but just wait until the joint-squirrel and robotic uprising happens. You'll look back on this post (since the robots will have it on their monitor screens so it will be the last thing you see) and think, "That FakeLiz sure knew what she was talking about. We should have made her president." You'll realize it someday.
I've warned you, Diary. Don't trust the squirrels.
-Liz >8^O
I'd like to talk to you about something serious: sciruophobia, the fear of squirrels. I am not afraid of squirrels; I'm just scared of what they're capable of doing. Sure, it seems like they are just digging for buried nuts in the ground, but that's just a diversion. They know that most humans cannot stand against a "cute" squirrel, but I see through their clever plans. I know that they are planning on eliminating the humans, with the aid of our robots, because they want the humans gone as well. Luckily I was able to get some snapshots of the squirrels when they don't have their guards up, such as the following:
I've warned you, Diary. Don't trust the squirrels.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Do you want your mouth washed out with soap?
Dear Diary,
I have recently found that I have been saying a naughty word for most of my life. I didn't realize this until one of my boys used it to describe how he did on a test. Yes, Diary, I am talking about the word frisbee. Yes, I realize that this word is copyrighted by a certain toy manufacturer, but this word is dirty. I had to wash out Mic's mouth after he said that he "totally frisbee'd up his test" the other day. (No, I didn't use bar soap; the liquid soap is much better for these purposes.) Currently I am in intense negotiations with multiple legislators to make this word illegal.
Did you know that there are sports centered around this word? Seriously, we don't have to dirty our mouths to say that we're going to play a game of "Ultimate Flying Disc" or "Flying Disc Golf". Continued use of this word is completely unacceptable. Mic loves playing the games that are soiled with this word, and he loves talking about the maneuvers he employs during gameplay, but it has to stop. I would carry around hand sanitizer to wash out his mouth (when liquid soap is not available), but I'm afraid that Mic would use that word as an excuse to eat the alcohol in the hand sanitizer.
Do you have any alternatives in mind, Diary?
-Liz :)
I have recently found that I have been saying a naughty word for most of my life. I didn't realize this until one of my boys used it to describe how he did on a test. Yes, Diary, I am talking about the word frisbee. Yes, I realize that this word is copyrighted by a certain toy manufacturer, but this word is dirty. I had to wash out Mic's mouth after he said that he "totally frisbee'd up his test" the other day. (No, I didn't use bar soap; the liquid soap is much better for these purposes.) Currently I am in intense negotiations with multiple legislators to make this word illegal.
Did you know that there are sports centered around this word? Seriously, we don't have to dirty our mouths to say that we're going to play a game of "Ultimate Flying Disc" or "Flying Disc Golf". Continued use of this word is completely unacceptable. Mic loves playing the games that are soiled with this word, and he loves talking about the maneuvers he employs during gameplay, but it has to stop. I would carry around hand sanitizer to wash out his mouth (when liquid soap is not available), but I'm afraid that Mic would use that word as an excuse to eat the alcohol in the hand sanitizer.
Do you have any alternatives in mind, Diary?
-Liz :)
Monday, February 2, 2009
Obama Dolls Threaten Sanity
Dear Diary,
I have found possibly the absolute cutest toys today! I found that Ty has made dolls of Sasha and Malia Obama, whoever they are. (Probably related to the idol of the present news networks.) They are just so cute that I can't stand it! No, literally, I cannot stand it! Mic bought them for me, and I can't look at them, so I put them in a drawer and locked it. They're flame retardant, so I can't destroy them by fire, and they won't rip apart. They are indestructable, so I must suppress them, but every once in a while I will hear snickering from that locked drawer, as if they're planning something against me. They despise my captialist and conservative ideals, and I think they're plotting a plan to take me out of their picture. Just look at them:
Diary, please help me find a way to get these dolls out of my house! There is not a child in the neighborhood who wants them. Even eBay did not sell them. (Help me!!!)
-Liz :(
I have found possibly the absolute cutest toys today! I found that Ty has made dolls of Sasha and Malia Obama, whoever they are. (Probably related to the idol of the present news networks.) They are just so cute that I can't stand it! No, literally, I cannot stand it! Mic bought them for me, and I can't look at them, so I put them in a drawer and locked it. They're flame retardant, so I can't destroy them by fire, and they won't rip apart. They are indestructable, so I must suppress them, but every once in a while I will hear snickering from that locked drawer, as if they're planning something against me. They despise my captialist and conservative ideals, and I think they're plotting a plan to take me out of their picture. Just look at them:
-Liz :(
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